Slow Down, Christine.

All of the blogs I'm following seem to be getting into the holiday spirit. Everywhere I look there are gift giving ideas and decorating ideas and shopping tips...there will be none of that here. At least not today, but maybe not ever. It isn't that I'm not in the holiday mood: my tree is up, my advent wreath is out, the kids are busy making lists, I'm threatening "Santa's WATCHING!" at every turn. There's plenty of holiday talk going on around here, but at the moment I'm busy trying to take in a lesson from the universe and an important lesson for advent: SLOW DOWN.

Here we go again: Two Tuesdays ago I ran into a deer (not an uncommon occurrence where I am from!) and this Tuesday I had another eye opener.  I slogged out to my car in the cold rain, umbrella-less, with 100lb baby carrier slung over my arm, and sleepy kids in tow and got in the van to take my oldest down to the bus stop. (I really wish the bus driver could pull up in front of my house which is only 6 houses away from the stop. This isn't even a bus...it's a MINI VAN. There is no reason the driver should have any trouble navigating on my street. But, I digress.)

Jim drove the van last. Now, hear me: I am not blaming HIM. I am merely explaining why the following events were more likely to happen on this day.  He had the van pulled squarely at the end of our driveway. It would have been quite simple for me to back out of the driveway. All I had to do was slowly apply the gas, keep the wheel straight and go in reverse. That isn't how I roll. I don't like to back up. Normally I have the van positioned in the driveway so that I can do one three point turn and head out of the driveway nose first. But in order to turn myself around on Tuesday I had to do multiple three point turns to get there.  At a certain point, I began to think: How many more three point turns do I need to do to get this van turned around?  Then there also came a certain moment in the three point turn madness that it was too late to turn back. I did one more three point turn and then I thought, "This should be fine, I'm going."  It was raining and darker than usual at 7a.m.  And I misjudged how much room I had to maneuver.  And ooops. This happened:

Yes, I sideswiped the house!

I forgot all about it (duh!) until I let the dog out later that morning. I went around to check out the damage and that's what I saw.  Sometimes I'm a real ditz. Now I had to face Jim. I knew he would be frustrated with me.  I already felt horrible about it, but I couldn't put off the inevitable phone call where I have to explain my crazy logic to my logical husband:

"Why didn't you just back out of the driveway?? I had it parked perfectly for you to do that!" I know, dear, but that isn't what I am used to doing every morning and don't you know that I live my life on auto pilot half the time and I just want to do things the way that I do them so they can be done and I don't have to think about them anymore? 

Do you realize how horrible this sounds?  I did. He was angry and I started to cry. Not because he was saying anything untrue. Not because he was being cruel. But because I just don't think about things sometimes.  I just do what I do because I always do it that way.  I don't assess the situation to make the best possible choice all of the time. This is something I don't like about myself, so it's really hard to admit.  

So from that point on, I started to have a bad day. I felt like an Eeyore--at least I could hear his voice in my head "it's raining..."  "I messed up my car..."  "I'm too tired to exercise." "This is boring." There were bright spots in my Tuesday:

We got our new kitchen table.

Ava drew this adorable picture. It's me happily doing many different exercise moves. I can't get the picture to go right side up, but you get the point. I love the picture of me doing a push-up (it's on the left of the screen).

And Jim brought me flowers when he came home from work. I hardly ever get flowers.  He must have felt bad that I was crying. He probably didn't realize that I was being harder on myself than he was being on me...but the flowers were a nice surprise and brightened my day.

I hope these downer Tuesdays don't continue!!  I think if I can practice what I so often preach in my blog about living in the moment and being present in the moment that things will turn around for me.  If not, I'm sure I'll get another knock on the head to get me back on track!

Man VS. MiniVan

When I pull into the pick up line at school I always chuckle. There are many SUV type vehicles and a couple of family sized sedans and there are also 2 or 3 other minivans. I feel a kindred spirit with those minivan owners...they KNOW what I'm talking about:

40 months ago, I was not a minivan person and neither was my husband, but with a third little one on the way we were almost prepared to make the commitment. When we pulled into the 3rd dealership of the day after test driving quite a few SUV's the salesman came over, listened to our situation, and promptly took us over to the minivan section "You're gonna love this" he said. My husband and I looked at each other. I gave a famous eye-roll, and then we decided to throw caution to the wind and take one for a test drive.

"Hmmm." Jim said, "This FEELS like an SUV". It kind of did! When perched in the captain's chair you are raised above the road, a feeling we liked and had gotten used to with both our Chevy and our Ford. I immediately liked it...automatic sliding doors, stow and go seating...a stay at home mom of preschoolers' dreams come true, but I stayed quiet at first. I knew Jim would need more convincing.

Back at the dealership we tested out the stow and go, and used our key fob to open all the doors. "Think of how much easier life will be in this roomy vehicle? Please, Honey? I'll be the one driving it 90% of the time..." "But this means we are old" "No, it means we are sensible...nothing wrong with that...plus you won't be driving it all the time." "Well...are you sure? Are we 'minivan' people..." "We can be...c'mon let's hear what kind of deal we can get." Not yet fully convinced, "Maybe we can look into a lease.," Jim suggested.

So we decided to lease a brand new, navy blue Dodge Grand Caravan. We settled on the lease for a couple of reasons: 1) our track record showed us purchasing a new vehicle every 2 or so years for the last six anyway, so chances are we'd want a new car at the end of the lease--When I met Jim he had a Cavalier which we upgraded to the Chevy Blazer, and then we went for the roomier Ford Explorer. Now we were settling on the minivan. 2) A lease is a short term commitment, at 40 months we could hand the thing back and get something more suited to our modern family. :)

So now, the end of 40 months is upon us, and I get a little sniffle when I think of letting that van go. Besides a broken passenger door handle (one that broke only months into our lease and we never had fixed), the van has been a pleasure. I love pulling into the grocery store and not worrying about hitting the car next to me when the doors swing open and kids tumble out. I also love when my arms are weighted down with a toddler, a bag, a purse, and a stroller and I can press a button (albeit with my teeth sometimes!) and let everyone inside. For a while there we had one of the passenger seats in the front stowed and I also loved how it afforded me the ability to hop in and buckle children into car seats without straining my back or having my backside exposed for all the world to admire! Also, with a click of the button, the hatch automatically closes and the doors lock as I tend to my corral of grocery bags waiting to be unpacked. And we can't forget that on those blustery afternoons in the pickup line at school, other parents have to get out of their toasty cars and open passenger doors for little ones, when I can stay nice and warm in the drivers seat and, open sesame, allow entrance for Jordan.

Yes, Olivia has found the key fob and pressed the buttons on several occasions resulting in a rush to shut off the "panic" button or a confused look from Jim as he comes in the door from work, "The side door to the van is wide open you know." Oops. Other than that I wouldn't trade it.

But now, I have to, and Jim is trying to make a strong case for anything but minivan. While I am quietly praising its merits, gathering testimonials from friends who have converted to the minivan cult and "can't remember life without it" or "can't imagine driving ANYTHING else," and pointing out situations when the automatic sliding doors and folding seats are indispensable, he is mounting a case for a crossover, another SUV, or anything, ANYTHING that isn't a minivan.

This weekend will tell as we head to the dealers to make a purchase. We've decided to trade in the minivan and perhaps upgrade to a new model...and I've started a rumor that the new van's side windows roll down (a huge perk!) ...we'll see how that pans out. Anyway, no more leasing for us. So this is going to be a long term commitment.

But will it be the decade of the minivan? That is yet to be determined...