What would J Q Do?

I am a non-confrontational sort of gal. At times, I think being this way saves me from a lot of arguments. But if John Quinones has taught me anything, it's that sitting idly by when you see something wrong is not always the best thing to do.

I know I shouldn't feel bad about voicing my opinions...especially here on MY blog, But I do believe the hot button issue I'm about to discuss may have some of my friends sitting on different sides of the fence and I want to remind those readers sitting on the other side of the fence from me: I still love you...even when you're wrong! :)

So with the disclaimer out of the way:

Let me tell you about the A-hole that almost ruined our ninth anniversary dinner...

It all starts at The Evolution Grille.

The waitress was friendly. The menu was exciting. The service was prompt.  The food tasted great. The Evolution Grille is worth a second, third, twentieth taste.  We were very pleased with that part of our dining experience.  We chose items that we wouldn't normally prepare for ourselves: Jim had the veal and I had the duck. We had an appetizer and dessert. We have spent more money on less tasty meals. Go there!

But if you prefer to eat your dinner in a place where you can loudly speak about your Winter home in Florida, discuss the people you know who study micro-biology, lament the end of your stay in Pennsylvania, reminisce about every single meal you have eaten in the place, tell your waitress about how great the OTHER waitress you had when you ate here was, and rudely, and again LOUDLY, complain about other patrons who are simply trying to have a lovely meal as well, then please be advised to stay home and annoy your pets, neighbors, and any other living thing with whom you come in contact.

The restaurant is small and I was back to back with the guests behind us. Jim was facing the front of the restaurant and had a good view of everything going on behind me. Honestly, hearing the conversations of guests around me is not a big deal, and at times can be fun!  When I go out to eat, I'm not expecting privacy. If I wanted privacy and peace and quiet than I would order food and eat it in the privacy of my home. I expect courtesy and act courteously when I am in a restaurant. I am in the process of teaching my young children how to behave this way in a restaurant as well. That means that I do, on occasion take my young children with me to restaurants.

There was a family that came in the restaurant toward the end of our meal (A grandmother, mom, dad, young son, and a high chair bound daughter) for what seemed like a special occasion (everyone had on their Sunday best). Shortly after being seated the young daughter let out a long shriek. Why? Perhaps she was tired, hungry, not capable of communicating her wishes with words. Whatever the reason, her mom seemed to get things in hand quickly. The episode was over in less than thirty seconds, but apparently not quickly enough for Mr. Winter Home who proceeded to do a 180 in his seat to glare at the family. As he turned back to his partner he loudly commented that HE thought the child needed to get some air (implying that she should be removed from the restaurant) and as his partner gently patted his hand and muttered something quietly (probably about making a scene or something) he loudly insisted that he would be letting his waitress know how irritated he was. He also made the comment that he was SO thrilled that he did not have children of his own.  Seriously, dude. Thank you for granting the rest of us that favor!

Maybe it's because I have young kids but my heart went out to the now-quietly-awaiting-their-food-family.  The kids were not running around the restaurant, standing on their chairs, stealing food from other patrons plates or misbehaving in any other way. The little girl had a mini meltdown for less than 30 seconds and that was just enough to set this jerk off and give him the right to ostracize this family and make a fuss that was now ruining the good time of other guests (namely Myself and Jim). I could see Jim's blood starting to boil and he was very close to saying something. He didn't, although I think he would have if the man pushed one more time.  We paid our check and left, and I made sure to give the family a smile as we walked out. The little girl returned my smile. She was perfectly behaved at the time.

Jim and I talked about the incident all the way to our next destination (an unromantic, but fun for us, trip to Linens and Things. Hahahaha)

I am kind of sick of hearing that young children should be banned from restaurants.  During a recent rather one sided discussion I was part of, one person made a comment that restaurants should, if not ban children, then at least create a SECTION for children and relegate families to that section as they used to do for smokers and non-smokers. She could see no difference between this issue and the smoking issue, as cigarette smoke, while annoying, did not personally bother her. HUH? After the fact, I thought of a comeback:  Last time I checked second hand smoke is a little more than annoying, it is hazardous to my health, whereas, my children are not going to kill you by merely enjoying a meal next you. 

Well, I'm paying good money not to have to put up with misbehaving kids.  I get it people. I'm paying for my meal as well as four overpriced helpings of mac and cheese, thank you. And when I am able to go out without my children I'm paying for my meal and childcare for my kids--I am not paying good money to sit next to a self absorbed loud mouth! The problem is really NOT the children, it's the parents who aren't doing everything in their power to teach their kids how to behave in public and it's the idiots who have all the answers and become obnoxious that ruin the restaurant experience for people. I should not be banished to eat every meal at home until my children reach their teens.

Here's a novel concept: JERKS should be banned from restaurants.

In the meantime, kudos to mom, dad, and grandma for teaching your little ones how to behave last night at The Evolution and to Mr. Winter Home, I hope you choked on your Almond Cream Cake. Believe me, the irony of YOUR poor behavior in a restaurant was not lost on me!

Thankfully, the situation didn't escalate but if it had, I hope that we would have made John Quinones proud.

Taste of Spring Pictures

We got a new toy in the beginning of the month.  We had been camera-less for 8 months. Our old camera went on the fritz right after Chloe was born, so all of her new born pics are taken with my phone, leaving much to be desired.

We had a freak warm up over the last few days (which Ava and I did not enjoy much because we were trapped in a hospital room). But yesterday when the girls asked to go outside I choked down the initial urge to say NO and headed out with them.  It wasn't as muddy as I expected and even though the yard is a mess and everywhere I looked, I saw work-work-work,  I just shut it all out of my mind and enjoyed the moment. It was easy to do when I paired my vision down behind the viewfinder of our new camera. 

Here are some of my favorite shots from yesterday--our first real outdoor play time of 2011:

These are straight from the camera. Some day I will learn all about fancy editing and what not. But I'm pretty happy with these and very happy to not be snapping shots with my smart phone. Chloe was napping and that's why she is obviously absent from the pictures. And of course, I was BEHIND the camera (which I don't mind because I was still in Pajamas--I had been cleaning and laundering up to the point the girls asked to go out)

I'm ready for spring! How about you?

Superbowl Sunday: The Blow Up (and Menu Plan)

Thirteen days ago I blogged about a middle of the night wake up call at our house. A week or so ago as I was browsing my blog reader I came across this post over at YoungHouseLove and I thought, how timely.  I cannot stress how ill-prepared we were before our wake up call. We didn't even have a fire extinguisher for the kitchen!  Thank goodness we rectified that situation before yesterday...

So, duh, it was Superbowl Sunday yesterday and we were keeping it low key. Jim wanted to enjoy the game at home in front of his own TV. My mom had to work until right before game time, so we invited my parents over to have some grub and catch the game.  Jim was craving chicken wings and because of our money saving efforts we nixed the idea of spending $50 or more on a few buckets of wings from somewhere and decided to make them ourselves. Well, Jim decided to make wings...I was in charge of the "nachos supremos" (and they were delish, by the way).  So when Jim got the bright idea to use my big pot with the colander insert to deep fry the wings, he only met mild protests from me.  I'm not sure it will work I said, that colander isn't made for deep frying, but I let him go. My husband is usually a master of common sense (compared to me, anyway) and I figured he had everything under control. He's deep fried wings before so I figured he could handle things without me butting in--besides I was too busy jockeying for counter position and the ideal burner to use for my nacho making duties. 

There were a few tip-offs that things were not going to go as smoothly as anticipated. First the wings hadn't completely thawed. We had taken them out earlier in the day but they were still slightly frozen.  The second tip-off was when Jim asked if we had any more vegetable oil in the house. This was after he had already used the two large bottles that I had in the pantry. Absentmindedly, I pointed out an almost full bottle in the lazy susan. My dad stepped in with a cautionary comment about too much oil...but I think Jim was preoccupied with the idea of cooking boat loads of wings at once El fry cook style to heed the warning. The next tip-off was Christina Aguilera botching the words to the national anthem...come on girl you are a professional! I was too busy critiquing, to notice Jim stuffing the basket with too many wings.  He was getting nervous as pre-game festivities were winding down and the game was about to begin and the wings were not yet frying. His master plan had him plopping in front of the TV with a plate of hot crispy wings before kickoff.

I think you all can see where this is going...but if not, let me paint the picture further.  Wings with stray ice crystals clinging in a colander not made for frying.  Gallons of bubbling oil.  Too many cooks in the kitchen. Game clock about to start ticking. Wing cravings messing with the calibration of the common sense meter. Down goes the wing pot. Ice and hot oil react. Pot bubbles over. Three foot flames come shooting out of my kitchen!  Jim tries to blow out flames with slightly more force than blowing out candles on a birthday cake. The flames do go out for a second but then reignite!  Exhaust fan is on fire.  Hot oil is on the floor. Someone grabs the fire extinguisher (I think it was Jim but he doesn't remember doing it). And the fire is out!  But  not before a three foot layer of smoke clings to our ceiling.  Jim spent the entire first quarter cleaning and airing out the kitchen and living room. I suggested we try baking the wings, but he was so disgusted with his temporary lack of common sense that he tossed the whole bag.  I didn't give him much grief, just sent up a silent Thank You that it wasn't me and that the only damage to be seen was a small singe mark on the stove. The floor is still a little greasy this morning but at least my kitchen is in tact and we didn't have to evacuate the house. The girls had been watching TV in the office and didn't have any idea what had happened...The smoke detectors work though.  I urge you once again to get prepared for a fire if you are not. You never know. I am so relieved that we had the fire extinguisher on hand...two weeks ago we would have been not so lucky I think.

So I had to share that story, much to my husband's chagrin. But I also want to share my menu plan for the week.

Thanks for visiting from I'm an Organizing Junkie! And head on over there if you would like to check out more weekly menus!

Here's mine:

Monday: Chicken Teriyaki and Fried Rice (since we had Superbowl food minus wings, this meal got pushed)
Tuesday: Meat Pies, Green Beans, and some other side--I haven't decided
Wednesday: Hot Sausage hoagies, Corn, Potatoes
Thursday: Grilled Chicken Salad, Fresh Bread
Friday: Crab Soup, Biscuits, Spinach Salad
Saturday: Date Night--we are going to Atria's...the kids will probably have frozen pizza's
Sunday: Chicken Parmesan, Pasta, and Salad

I realize we are having salad a lot this week...but we've gotta get those veggies in and salad dressings can be so varied that it's hard to get sick of salad. 

Have a great week everybody!

Eight Hour Magic

It is 7:21 a.m.  and all is quiet. This very rarely happens here. I just put Jordan on the bus.  I enjoyed the last few sips of my morning tea, and now I am sitting down to blog.  There are few things I love more than the peace of early morning. It's only been these recent years that I have learned to love the morning.  As much as I love sleeping in, when I wake up late I always think about those lost hours.  I am one of those lucky human beings that gets a full eight almost every single night, so to sleep any longer than that feels like a waste.

I owe my eight hours of sleep every night to my husband.  He is also an early riser, but by force. He wakes at 4:30 every morning. To get any semblance of sleep he needs to be in bed by 10pm and I go at that time too.  Even though my days starts much later than his, I still go so he doesn't feel alone.  He wakes up before the crack of dawn and salts (or shovels) our icy walks, sometimes has time for a hot shower, and is off to work a long and sometimes stressful day.  I will never use the word "lazy" to describe my husband.  In the eleven years that we have been together, there has not been a single day that he has rolled over and said that he didn't want to go to work. The only time he has missed have been the births of our daughters, surgeries for our daughters, if he is sicker than a dog, and the rare, but occasional car malfunction.  He goes to work no matter what. 

(Two little girls have joined me in the time it took me to write this. They have also begun a dance party in the living room.) Morning peace is short lived around here. But I got my eight, so it's all good!

Good morning and good day everyone!

In 2010

In 2010: I've loved my husband a little more each day--his strength, his sillyness, his committment, his care. I got to witness his care for his family.  He is so happy to be in this new house and it is a home because he is here with me.  I've watched him love his girls the best way he knows how. I have watched him cuddle his youngest and wrestle his older girls (I always think of a pack of puppies when I watch them play). I've enjoyed, TOO FEW, date nights and I resolve to make more time for us in the new year.  I look forward to the completion of many home projects and lots of laughs and memories made!

In 2010: I've watched Jordan shoot up before my eyes into a pretty little lady inside and out. I see her love of books and writing blooming and it makes me so proud when I see her busy at the table with a pen and paper in hand.  She is so bright.  Kind and loving in many ways. My girlie girl.  I found a list of what she wants to be when she grows up: 1. A puppy washer 2. A singer 3. A salon person 4. A fashion designer 5. A ballerina 6. A cheerleader.  I see the seeds of all of these things in her and more.

In 2010: I've watched Ava live life to the fullest--playing hard, laughing hard, fighting and loving. She goes full tilt in everything she does.  She's wacky and silly and sweet and funny and a good big sister and a complete rascal at the same time.  Ava throws caution to the wind. Takes chances. Lives. I hope she never looses her spark and fire.

In 2010: I've watched Livi, my baby, a baby no more, take on the role of big sister. She fills my days with kisses and hugs. I look into her deep brown eyes and my heart melts. My sensitive little mini. I watch her trail her big sisters wanting to do and to be. I watch her kiss her little sister's face and hands. She is adorable in every way. She goes with the flow of our days without complaint.  She is and always was the one who waits and watches and I hope what she sees is love.

In 2010: I watched a new little life emerge: Chloe completes our family--a little babbling brook. She is quick to show off her dimples and when I see her, I see my husband. It's no mistake that her favorite string of sounds right now is "dadadadadada." The way she lights up when she sees him and he does the same? She is Daddy's girl through and through.  She is my sweet little baby and always will be. So I will hold on to her. Watch her closely when she sleeps, hold her closely when she is awake. She is my happy hearted sweetie bean.

When I loosened my grip on the sorrows of 2009, I had no idea the blessings in store for this year. Thank you Lord for my family and a wonderful 2010.  And HAPPY NEW YEAR one and all!

Finally!

Well, something had been stopping me from hanging pictures up in our new abode.  I hadn't done it yet--2 months post move in, because I know that we will be painting almost every room in the house and I want to change up my color schemes a little and I thought, why hang the stuff and then have to change it all when we paint? I would have loved to have SOMEthing painted by now, but reality hasn't allowed it.  We have done a few small projects, well Jim has, but they have all been related to lights and lighting (my husband is an electrician--so these are the easiest projects to complete!)

Lately, my talk about the house has all come out as complaints, much to my husband's chagrin, but to be fair something has been missing around here and the place just hasn't felt like home, until today. We finally pounded the first nails into the wall and hung some things and I must say, I should have done it sooner.  Even though it's just a few things and even though we may change it some time down the road, it's made a huge difference in making the place seem homier! And that puts a smile on my face.

One area that I have been wanting to put together since we moved in is in the laundry room and I have jokingly referred to it as the "command center"  What was once a bare wall now looks like this: 

I found a tip at one of my favorite home blogs, I Heart Organizing, that suggested turning a glass frame into a dry erase board and I decided to use it to create a dry erase calander and two boards: The calander is just a very simple and cheap black and white wall calendar that I put under a frame. For the memo boards I made one for Notes and one to write our Weekly Menu.

I just used some scrapbook papers from a stack I had lying around and then cut a piece of white copy paper for the center, then I used some scrap book letters to label the boards, put them under glass and presto!  Instant dry erase! One of the great things about using glass as opposed to the typical cardboard memo boards is that it erases easily and doesn't leave a shadow behind like every other dry erase board I've ever had. 

Then, taking another cue from I Heart Organizing, I used more scrap book paper and wrapped it around an old tin soup can to create a corral for the dry erase pens. Jim drilled a hole in it for me and we hung it from an S hook on the laundry room shelf so that pens will remain handy.

 I wish I would have had the extra frames lying around because the whole project would have been SUPER cheap! But alas, I had to buy some frames. I did get cheap ones though. I can't wait to use my new "command center." It makes me feel very organized, we'll see!

Also, Jim created a little "man cave" for himself in our office. It actually looks kind of nice.  It is a big slash room right now: Man cave/Office/Workout room. 

I'm just happy there are things hanging up around here and one of the best Christmas gifts was having my husband home with us ALL weekend (and today) that hardly ever happens!  I'm off to spend some more QT right now! Night all!

You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch

I was accused of being a little "Grinchy" this weekend.  In the moment, it made me feel even Grinchier. Looking back on it, I can admit that I have been Grinchy--at least toward my husband.  The guy breaks his back to provide a living for us and not only was I being ungrateful for that, I was complaining about it, implying that it wasn't enough, and generally being a downer. This was not intentional by any means. I KNOW my husband works hard, but my actions and attitude were sending him a different message. That isn't me. I think it throws the hubs for a loop because it forces us into a role reversal and he's rarely been the guy to put a positive spin on things, realist that he is.

However, he does love Christmastime.  He loves what Christmastime can be for the kids and he really enjoys experiencing the magic with them all over again.  Instead of looking at the season through sparkling snowflake glasses, I was thinking to myself, "SOME ONE'S got to make this magic!" It isn't just going to happen and time is running out!!

And so I felt like I was running in a rusted wheel and caught on the burr of a catch 22 for the holidays. I need Jim home so that we can shop and prepare for the holidays, but he also needs to be at work to fund the event!  When I look at the calender I see that dates are quickly filling up with School Christmas Concerts, Christmas parties, and Holiday Dance Recitals and the evenings for shopping are few and far between. So instead of looking forward to these events and the joy they will bring, I begin to feel spiteful toward them. Who can enjoy the holidays when the ungettable gift is dangling like a carrot just out of reach?

We took the reigns of this sleigh last night. I tried to hunt around on line for our "must have" gifts but everything was "out of stock"or could be purchased on Amazon for twice the original price (yeah, right). My sugar plum dreams where quickly fading...The thought of not being able to put that ONE thing that the girls really wanted (and were undoubtedly EXPECTING) under the tree was really depressing. I went out to one store while Jim stayed with the girls...I found a couple of things, but not THE things...  I came home. 

Jim wasn't hearing it. So he decided to go out around 6:30 and hunt around.  He drove to one store...no luck. Drove to another about 40 minutes away and JACKPOT! He was able to scoop up the last three dolls on the shelf! I'm really happy that he got to be a Christmas Hero and his effort and ultimate success was enough to push me out of my Christmas funk!  I cannot wait to see the girls faces when they see these dolls. They are SOOOO cute! A big THANK YOU to Jim (A smooch under the mistletoe is in order!).

Finishing up the list should be a snap now...even for a shop-a-phobic like myself. SO:

Fah who For-aze

Dah who dor-aze

Welcome Christmas

Come this way!

Fah who for-aze

Dah who dor-aze

Welcome Christmas

Christmas Day!

Slow Down, Christine.

All of the blogs I'm following seem to be getting into the holiday spirit. Everywhere I look there are gift giving ideas and decorating ideas and shopping tips...there will be none of that here. At least not today, but maybe not ever. It isn't that I'm not in the holiday mood: my tree is up, my advent wreath is out, the kids are busy making lists, I'm threatening "Santa's WATCHING!" at every turn. There's plenty of holiday talk going on around here, but at the moment I'm busy trying to take in a lesson from the universe and an important lesson for advent: SLOW DOWN.

Here we go again: Two Tuesdays ago I ran into a deer (not an uncommon occurrence where I am from!) and this Tuesday I had another eye opener.  I slogged out to my car in the cold rain, umbrella-less, with 100lb baby carrier slung over my arm, and sleepy kids in tow and got in the van to take my oldest down to the bus stop. (I really wish the bus driver could pull up in front of my house which is only 6 houses away from the stop. This isn't even a bus...it's a MINI VAN. There is no reason the driver should have any trouble navigating on my street. But, I digress.)

Jim drove the van last. Now, hear me: I am not blaming HIM. I am merely explaining why the following events were more likely to happen on this day.  He had the van pulled squarely at the end of our driveway. It would have been quite simple for me to back out of the driveway. All I had to do was slowly apply the gas, keep the wheel straight and go in reverse. That isn't how I roll. I don't like to back up. Normally I have the van positioned in the driveway so that I can do one three point turn and head out of the driveway nose first. But in order to turn myself around on Tuesday I had to do multiple three point turns to get there.  At a certain point, I began to think: How many more three point turns do I need to do to get this van turned around?  Then there also came a certain moment in the three point turn madness that it was too late to turn back. I did one more three point turn and then I thought, "This should be fine, I'm going."  It was raining and darker than usual at 7a.m.  And I misjudged how much room I had to maneuver.  And ooops. This happened:

Yes, I sideswiped the house!

I forgot all about it (duh!) until I let the dog out later that morning. I went around to check out the damage and that's what I saw.  Sometimes I'm a real ditz. Now I had to face Jim. I knew he would be frustrated with me.  I already felt horrible about it, but I couldn't put off the inevitable phone call where I have to explain my crazy logic to my logical husband:

"Why didn't you just back out of the driveway?? I had it parked perfectly for you to do that!" I know, dear, but that isn't what I am used to doing every morning and don't you know that I live my life on auto pilot half the time and I just want to do things the way that I do them so they can be done and I don't have to think about them anymore? 

Do you realize how horrible this sounds?  I did. He was angry and I started to cry. Not because he was saying anything untrue. Not because he was being cruel. But because I just don't think about things sometimes.  I just do what I do because I always do it that way.  I don't assess the situation to make the best possible choice all of the time. This is something I don't like about myself, so it's really hard to admit.  

So from that point on, I started to have a bad day. I felt like an Eeyore--at least I could hear his voice in my head "it's raining..."  "I messed up my car..."  "I'm too tired to exercise." "This is boring." There were bright spots in my Tuesday:

We got our new kitchen table.

Ava drew this adorable picture. It's me happily doing many different exercise moves. I can't get the picture to go right side up, but you get the point. I love the picture of me doing a push-up (it's on the left of the screen).

And Jim brought me flowers when he came home from work. I hardly ever get flowers.  He must have felt bad that I was crying. He probably didn't realize that I was being harder on myself than he was being on me...but the flowers were a nice surprise and brightened my day.

I hope these downer Tuesdays don't continue!!  I think if I can practice what I so often preach in my blog about living in the moment and being present in the moment that things will turn around for me.  If not, I'm sure I'll get another knock on the head to get me back on track!

Just What I Needed

So last Tuesday evening on my way to my faith sharing group meeting, I hit a deer. I wasn't going fast and I almost missed him but I bumped into his backside and sent him scampering off into the woods with a hind leg dangling. I felt horrible about it, but there wasn't any damage to the van and I was fine. I debated calling Jim or turning back home but I'm glad I decided to go on. I was reminded that night that I need to be more present. (I thought I learned this lesson already!) I guess I'd been not so present over the past few weeks. Instead of living in the moment, I was living inside my mind. I spent most of the last 3 weeks or so alternating between the following thought processes: How do I go about getting this house unpacked? Checking off my to-do list. Worrying about where I had to be and what I had to do next. Minor irritations resulting from little girl overload and a lack of adult conversation. Feeling sorry for myself. Wondering when my husband would be home. All these thoughts were wearing my down and slowly taking a toll on my overall happiness...and I didn't even realize until after I hit that deer and had a mini melt down during my faith sharing group.

I realized then that I needed two things to happen. I needed to come back to the present moment. Breathe. And focus. And I needed to spend some QT with the hubs.

This weekend I got to do both. It was the first full weekend that Jim didn't have to work! He has been working so hard lately (by the way, I am SUPER grateful that I have a husband who without fail gets up early in the morning and goes to work everyday to make a living for our family.) and he hadn't spent a Saturday at home since we've moved in! I know it's been hard for him too because he'd like to get things done around here. Anyway, this weekend there was none of that to worry about. On Friday my sisters and their boyfriends came out to sit with the girls and Jim and I went to the city to watch the Pens play (they won in the shoot out!). On Saturday, we went to a dinner, a fundraiser for the school where we send the girls, and we had a blast! We sat with my parents, and sister, her boyfriend, and a couple of friends and had the liveliest and most fun table in the room. None of us won anything, but you would not have known it because we didn't let it spoil our fun. I love Jim even more when we are in these settings because he really shines. It reminds me of some of the reasons I fell in love with him. He is fun and friendly and funny. I am so lucky to have him.

This weekend was a breath of fresh air for me. I feel rejuvenated. I feel like myself again!

Thinking

Inhale. Exhale. I've been thinking of things. Things I want to write about and things I wish I could write about but are probably not things that you share with a blog audience.  I've been unhappy with my blog as of late.  I just feel like there is no direction here.  I mean originally I thought I would write about life raising the girls...but our days become such a rhythm around here that I don't always notice the blog fodder.  And then there's the little problem of finding time to blog. I think...oh I'll try to pump up my readership, jump onto a blog hop or maybe link up...but then I don't get to post anything for a week and I think, is there anyone still out there waiting to read whatever it is I have to say? 

I feel a little down this evening.  Or maybe I'm bored.  Or maybe a little of both. I had a productive day, I know that's not it.  The girls have been  behaving wonderfully this evening...although they are amping up a bit now (that always seems to happen right before bedtime). So it isn't that.  ... Jim is working. I'm sure that has something to do with it. I miss my hubby.   Hope he gets home soon!

The Sleep Experiment...

Note: I know that baby is to sleep on her back, but she does like being on her belly and I'm sitting right here next to her, so don't fret!

I'm reading The Happiness Project, by Gretchen Rubin for book club this month. Actually got the book awhile ago and started to read it and I got away from it, and now I'm reading it again for book club.  So, I like the book and when I like things I tend to look them up on-line. And Gretchen has a blog that she started that went along with her writing the book and now there are thousands of people doing their own happiness projects and what not. But I digress, because I'm not writing this blog about the book. 

When I was looking at the site this last time, a little thing about Grumpy Spouses caught my eye.  It caught my eye because I have a grumpy spouse. (I hate to admit it, and he's not grumpy ALL the time, but sometimes he's really grumpy.) So I clicked on the link because I want to understand my grumpy spouse. The little side article talked about reasons why your spouse might be grumpy and there in black and white listed close to the top of the list was not getting enough sleep. And BINGO!  I know for a fact that Jim does not get enough sleep. We go to bed usually at 10pm and he is up at 4:30am (sometimes earlier), not to mention that he's a light sleeper and we are often disrupted by late night visitors who are scared, need help using the bathroom, are thirsty etc. or the baby wakes needing changed or fed or both,  or the dog is freaking out because a little storm blows through and he is a big baby, or whatever!

It makes me sad to look at the dark circles under my husbands eyes, or to see him fall asleep on the couch before dinner, or once the kids go to bed (or both) because this is valuable QT that we could be spending as a family or as a couple. His fatigue causes him to become short tempered with the kids, impatient with me and uber sensitive to mess. I had a bright idea at the end of last week.  Why don't you get 8 hours of sleep for a full week and see if it alters your mood and energy level, dear.  Well, counting back from 4:30am means getting to bed no later than 8:30 (um, the KIDS don't even go to bed until 9 since it's summer and the sun is still out at 8:30!) So, he has to make due with 7.5 hours a night.  He wasn't all too keen on the idea--I mean even though we expect the kids to settle in shortly after the sun sets, he thought it would be hard to do, plus we would miss all of our favorite shows (but that's what the DVR is for). Also, he likes when I come to bed at the same time that he does, even though I have the luxury of sleeping in, sort of, if I want to. So to entice him I told him that I would also turn it at 9pm. And he agreed to try it for a week.

Well, I thought it would be nice because my eight hours would be up around 6 am even if I spend a miscellaneous hour up with the baby, feeding, changing and pumping.  If I woke up at 6am, I could maybe get in an early morning workout, shower and eat before the kids start their day.  Visions of sipping my tea while I leisurely flip through a book in the quiet of the house filled me with happiness...this won't be bad I thought.

The first night of the experiment, Sunday night, was okay, but we got plenty of interruptions to the night's rest.  I asked Jim how he felt and he said he slept horribly.  It WAS hard to fall asleep at dusk and then it seemed like just when we did, one or another child entered.  One plus is that Jim did not nap during the day on Monday and managed to squeeze in a workout that evening--I would never begrudge him this, but I was kind of jealous, because a workout didn't happen for me.  Some of the kids were up at 6am--so that threw a wrench into my plans.

We both thought the second night might go better.  I haven't asked Jim about his night, but it was a no go for me again.  I returned children to their own beds TWICE through the night and was up at 6am with one or more kids. I didn't get to exercise until 8am--after I fed the baby, the girls, and myself. I chose a yoga DVD thinking that I would ease myself into the day.  The video was tough and reminded me that I am WAY out of shape and on top of that, as the instructor is talking about relaxation, cleansing breaths, and focus, the girls are blasting their music CD upstairs, and Chloe is sitting in her seat screaming her head off.  So much for my dreams of a quiet morning.

I have managed to get 8 hours of sleep through the night, not consecutively, and I am more tired than I've been since the first week of Chloe's life. I don't know what's going on...I texted Jim that I thought in order to get some down time from the kids I would need to get up at 4am because it seems to be the only time that everyone is asleep.  I miss the hour of downtime at night--even if I was only watching TV or reading it was nice to not have them up making noise and being in my hair with their bickering and neediness.  Getting up with them and going to bed with them is not satisfying to me because I get no downtime. 

I love my girls and I know all of this doesn't sound too good...but it's what I'm feeling in the midst of this sleep experiment.  I hope Jim has a better week, but if we decide to continue on beyond this one week, I will have to suggest some modifications so that everyone will be getting a semi-decent night's sleep and the much needed downtime that mommy requires to stay sane!

Happy Is As Happy Does

Well...trekked off to Borders today with the girls in search of the next book that I want to dive into:  The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin.  It is on our list for book club, so it may be an upcoming selection this summer, but whether or not our book club joins in, I want to read the book.  It is basically a memoir about the year in the life of a woman who makes being "happy" her project.  As we move through the book we learn more about her journey and perhaps begin to cultivate a journey of our own!  I checked out her blog last night, but figured I better start reading the book before I decide to give this new "kick" a try.

My own thoughts on Happiness?  And this is basically drawn from life experience (all 32.9 years of it!):  Is that to be happy, you need to BE happy.  It's about being grateful, accepting where you are in your life (whether it's challenging times or easy times), changing what needs changed, submitting to what cannot be changed, changing mental chatter from the negative to the positive, and changing ACTUAL chatter from negative to positive.

I have been reflecting a little over the past couple of weeks on a few things, how much more "at peace" I feel because I am clearing out the clutter in my home and finally realizing how to "do my job:"  this thing called "stay at home mom."  I spent a lot of time procrastinating from school age on and it's translated into putting off tomorrow what should be done today.  Hence overstuffed closets and pantry and drawers and dust bunnies and laundry pileups and babies who grow too quickly!

While clearing my clutter--well actually Jim came across it in HIS decluttering project--we came across a sketch book from when Jim and I were dating.  I loved looking through it because it reminds me of one of my happiest times with Jim.  One year for my birthday, Jim enrolled us BOTH in an art class at the community college.  It was the best gift EVER.  I give him all the credit in the world for coming up with this most amazing and perfect gift--I'm not quite sure how he knew to do it.  But anyway we took this little non-credit course together once a week for 6 or 8 weeks or so.  Even though he never claimed to be an artist--neither do I--or even claimed to LIKING to draw, the fact that he sat through the class with me and did his assignments and was just there spending time made it so wonderful.  I still smile when I think of it and smile when I look at what I created. 

I haven't drawn anything beyond a little crayon sketch or a fleeting picture on the magnadoodle in these last few years and it is something I miss...when I look at these pictures I get the urge to pull out the pencils and doodle a little and since I don't have a pile of stuff falling on my head when I open the closet door, maybe I can find some time to do a little of this or that again.

This is not something from Art Class...it's from college days--when Titanic was all the rage--It's probably the best portrait I've ever drawn though...

This was our first homework assignment: draw a chair.

Another homework assignment: draw a room.  This is the living room in my first apartment--the drawing is probably nicer than the real thing looked!

This was an in class assignment. I remember saying to Jim that we could hang it on the wall of the nursery for our first born son.  Well we never hung it in a nursery (and we never had a son!)

Here's another in class assignment I think...some tiger lilies...the problem is that even though it was a three hour class, I had trouble finishing my assignments within that time frame (I guess the perfectionist in me would come out).

Thanks for letting me share with you...it's been fun...now off to make dinner and give my husband a smooch.

An Answered Prayer

This is a prayer that was over 7 years in the making.  And it was quite simple:  Open my husband's heart and eyes to you, Lord. Not that my husband is some kind of heathen, he isn't. It's a prayer I pray for myself and for my kids AND for my husband.  And this past Easter I got to see the fruits of this prayer.

Let me go back...I am a cradle Catholic. After a brief (and necessary) lapse in my religious practice during and shortly after college I decided to begin practicing again. Especially as we prepared to bring a little one into the world, I began to realize that spirituality is a very important part of life on Earth.  I wanted to be able to pass on my faith to my children and not feel like a hypocrite. My husband was an out of practice Methodist. He was baptized, but to my understanding, had given up practicing at a young age.  He would attend church with me on occasion but not habitually. I didn't see a desire in him to convert and I never pushed the issue. One thing that I didn't do was roll over with him on Sunday morning. Instead, I made it a point to try to make it to church each week, with or without him, usually toting the kids along as well.

There may have come a time when my husband became angry at God.  A normal response for many people  when horrible things happen in our lives.  His mother taken too soon to see all of her grandchildren.  One of our children experiencing a long and unexpected NICU stay after birth.  Another daughter born with the same problem (only a minor case). 2 miscarriages in the past 13 months.  I hardly expected a change of heart to come from my husband after all of that. 

My take on these hardships is a little different: one of Acceptance.  Hardships come because we live in an imperfect world.  Hardships teach us something and make us stronger. It isn't always fair. It isn't always right. And it isn't God's fault.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I never pushed Jim to change his mind/heart. I simply prayed and I try to live the life of a faithful Christian, hoping that he'd hop on board in his and God's own time. 

I was super surprised this last fall when Jim expressed an interest in joining the Church.  As our kids get bigger, he was starting to see that questions might begin to rise up in our children as to why he doesn't do what the rest of the family is doing. 

Thank goodness for Sister Valerie. She is the nun who is in charge of the RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults) in our parish and she has truly been a blessing throughout the process. She worked with Jim one-on-one, bending her schedule to fit our busy one so that he could prepare to receive the sacrements this Easter Season. She was open to his questions, never judgemental of his feelings. She simply guided him through the process by sharing her own faith journey and encouraging him.

At the Easter Vigil Mass, Jim was confirmed and recieved The Eucharist for the first time (along with two other men and 2 other women--who were also baptized).  The 3 hour service was completely moving, at times breath taking, and truly for me a glimpse at God's majesty and glory. 

We truly had something wonderful to celebrate this Easter! 

Here's Jim before his big day:

You can almost see his halo! :)