40 Days and 40 Nights

I had a couple of people...okay, ONE person--my buddy over at Perfecting Imperfection, ask me to blog about what it was like to give up Facebook for 40 days.  So, here it goes!

I'm usually not into "giving things up" for Lent. Lots of people do chocolate, or coffee, or fast food, or some other favorite food items.  Others add something extra like taking more prayer time each day, adding in 30 minutes of exercise, mending the fence with someone they've been at odds with etc...all for the glory of God. You get the picture.  The point of Lent--for those who need a little schooling in the area--is to take time to enter the "desert of life." Give up the non essentials and even experience a little bit of time without the essentials too, so that we can get in touch with the suffering Jesus.  We are asked to Pray, Fast, and Share.  (That's Pray AND Fast, not "Pray Fast" as Jordan originally thought!) This time of praying, fasting, and sharing is asking us to draw closer to God, and to contemplate the sacrifice Christ made for us so that we may fully appreciate the Glory of Easter.  No, it ISN'T just about the Easter Bunny and egg hunts.

I digress...As I said I'm usually not into "giving things up." I like adding to my plate, and usually I choose the extra prayer time, or something similar, to add to my Lenten Journey. Alos, being pregnant this lent had me wanting to keep the chocolate and other sweets handy. But this year, a glaring, time consuming habit was staring me in the face (book)...heehee, just begging to be dropped for a while. 

So, come Ash Wednesday I decided this was it...my last log in to Facebook. No more secret stalking.  No more first-thing-in-the-morning-what-is-everyone-from-who-knows-where-doing checks.  No more commenting wittily on friends' status updates. No more trying to think of a comment provoking status update of my own.  No more mind numbing, time sucking games and apps.  I was going cold turkey.

And, light bulb moment:  It was wonderful!  I did miss it for the first couple of days, but after that I only gave it a thought here or there...like when my sister called so I could talk her down (She gave up FB too): She wanted to log on and memorialize Corey Haim's passing in a fitting status update.  I told her to get a grip. :) The Facebook World would keep on spinning. And then there was the time when I wasn't the absolute first to congratulate my cousin's wife about her pregnancy news after she posted a sonogram picture.  I found out from another sister after she saw it on FB. And then I felt a tiny pang when I would get an e-mail that someone from my "Mommy Group" had posted on FB about the next get together and I had no way to really chime in on the thread.  But I resolved that one by keeping in touch with a few friends who were still "logged on." 

Other than that I didn't miss it.  I enjoyed the free time that I had...and I worked on my blog a little more, started to scrap book, spent more time outside with the kids when we got the nice stretch of weather (that we continue to enjoy), and just didn't think about it.  

I do like Facebook. I logged back in on Easter Monday, but it doesn't have the same hold on me for some reason.  A friend of mine gave up coffee for lent and she was so excited to have her first cup on Easter morning, but when she took that first sip she thought, this isn't as good as I thought it would be... She realized the next day that she made herself  a cup of "decaf" accidentally. That's kind of how I feel about FB.  I'll still log on, maybe not daily, update my status, point friends to my blog, comment here and there but no where near as much as I used too. And say goodbye to the "extra caffeine."

I've learned that Facebook is fun, at times addictive, a nice way to connect or reconnect, but it is not a substitute for living life...even if I am a stay at home mommy with no big people to talk to during the day!

Side note, as a family we also gave up TV for one day a week. You may have seen me mention "No TV Monday."  Well, that's a keeper too. It was so great to not have the TV on for a solid 24 hours.  We totally did not miss it!

Don't be scared to unplug.   It was a wonderful experience!

An Answered Prayer

This is a prayer that was over 7 years in the making.  And it was quite simple:  Open my husband's heart and eyes to you, Lord. Not that my husband is some kind of heathen, he isn't. It's a prayer I pray for myself and for my kids AND for my husband.  And this past Easter I got to see the fruits of this prayer.

Let me go back...I am a cradle Catholic. After a brief (and necessary) lapse in my religious practice during and shortly after college I decided to begin practicing again. Especially as we prepared to bring a little one into the world, I began to realize that spirituality is a very important part of life on Earth.  I wanted to be able to pass on my faith to my children and not feel like a hypocrite. My husband was an out of practice Methodist. He was baptized, but to my understanding, had given up practicing at a young age.  He would attend church with me on occasion but not habitually. I didn't see a desire in him to convert and I never pushed the issue. One thing that I didn't do was roll over with him on Sunday morning. Instead, I made it a point to try to make it to church each week, with or without him, usually toting the kids along as well.

There may have come a time when my husband became angry at God.  A normal response for many people  when horrible things happen in our lives.  His mother taken too soon to see all of her grandchildren.  One of our children experiencing a long and unexpected NICU stay after birth.  Another daughter born with the same problem (only a minor case). 2 miscarriages in the past 13 months.  I hardly expected a change of heart to come from my husband after all of that. 

My take on these hardships is a little different: one of Acceptance.  Hardships come because we live in an imperfect world.  Hardships teach us something and make us stronger. It isn't always fair. It isn't always right. And it isn't God's fault.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I never pushed Jim to change his mind/heart. I simply prayed and I try to live the life of a faithful Christian, hoping that he'd hop on board in his and God's own time. 

I was super surprised this last fall when Jim expressed an interest in joining the Church.  As our kids get bigger, he was starting to see that questions might begin to rise up in our children as to why he doesn't do what the rest of the family is doing. 

Thank goodness for Sister Valerie. She is the nun who is in charge of the RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults) in our parish and she has truly been a blessing throughout the process. She worked with Jim one-on-one, bending her schedule to fit our busy one so that he could prepare to receive the sacrements this Easter Season. She was open to his questions, never judgemental of his feelings. She simply guided him through the process by sharing her own faith journey and encouraging him.

At the Easter Vigil Mass, Jim was confirmed and recieved The Eucharist for the first time (along with two other men and 2 other women--who were also baptized).  The 3 hour service was completely moving, at times breath taking, and truly for me a glimpse at God's majesty and glory. 

We truly had something wonderful to celebrate this Easter! 

Here's Jim before his big day:

You can almost see his halo! :)