9.11

(I started this post on Saturday...but never got to finish it)

I was three days engaged.  Dreaming and planning my walk down the aisle and beyond with the love of my life.  Who could know that that morning would change the landscape of our nation? Change us all in the blink of an eye? 

Remember how the flags flew? I had tears in my eyes for at least a week straight. In a time that was supposed to be hopeful, happy, and fun for me...my heart felt heavier. I was tired, frightened and couldn't really see beyond the moment.  I grieved for lives lost, innocence lost. I clung to loved ones.  We all wanted to be together, united.  Family was more important than ever.

So many changes were coming down the pipeline. So much seemed up in the air.  Later that year, doctors found a grapefruit sized cyst on one of my ovaries!  As we were beginning our life together, I was so scared that we would have trouble conceiving. (Funny to think about that now after all of my successful pregnancies).  At the time though, just like on 9.11.01, it seemed like the end of the world!

I am so grateful for my little girls.  When I look at them I see hope.  I am happy for the future. I am blessed because of them. I think that a common thought during that time was wondering how one could bring a child into this world so filled with hate and evil?  For me, it wasn't a question of how could you, but how could you not?  Children are innocents. Blessed. They remind us that good still exists. They show us true joy. They live their lives without care or worry.  They are hope. Isn't that what we need??  So, how could you not?