The Awful Truth

So THIS is what happens when you don’t live mindfully:

Last night Jim and I were going over the budget, crunching numbers with an eye on the future.  Closing coming up and the fact that our 2000 Honda Civic’s days are numbered has us wondering what and if we can afford a newer vehicle soon.  Since we were going through the finances with a comb, I couldn’t resist the chance to go through the check book and add up all the eating out we’ve done this summer…my current register only goes back to mid June which I should probably be grateful for, because what I found was enough! in three months we managed to spend over $600 on eating out and that’s just what was in the checkbook.  Many times we ate out, or take out, and paid cash for it! So who knows what the actual total is?!?

So, what else could we have done with $600 plus?  Hmmm…We could have bought a new mattress, which we really need.  Or a new dresser for the girls clothes, which we also need. Or a new bed for Olivia, since she will need one soon. Or we could have socked it away, which would have been nice. Or started a Christmas fund with it. OR?

I hate shopping. I must not have gotten the gene that allows you to enjoy spending money on things for yourself, or your home, or others (although I don’t have as much trouble shopping for others) I don’t mind grocery shopping because I deem that a necessity. But I can’t make myself like any other type of shopping. Instead of relaxing me or making me feel good, it stresses me out. I may have mentioned before, that this is how I shop:  I walk around the store for an hour picking up things that I want or like and as I stroll I talk myself out of buying them and end of putting back (or wanting to put back) almost everything I pick up. I always think about how I could be putting the money to good use somewhere else.

Not sure why I DON’T have this problem when it comes to shelling out money for eating out.  I guess it goes back to thinking: Well, we NEED to eat.  If I’ve had a busy day, or we are out and about during a meal time, or if I just don’t feel like cooking, well we must EAT! 

By the way, Since it’s starting to get chillier I’ve been scouring my drawers for some warm clothes and (uh oh) I don’t have anything. (going back to my dislike for shopping) So yes, I’m wearing maternity clothes today. I’m embarrassed to admit it. It isn’t that we don’t have money to buy new clothes. I just don’t want to.  Even though it is completely justifiable, even though Jim would say I don’t have to justify it. I still get stressed about it.  You know those people that say oh, I got a great deal on these shoes or this top or this purse? I secretly strongly dislike these people because I don’t see those deals—probably because I don’t shop often enough to see the sales--  I almost always pay full price for things and my inability to add up the savings makes me crazy.

I know, I’m nuts. It isn’t just the spending money thing that makes me hate shopping so much—there are other reasons, but this post would go on forever if I analyzed them all. It’s enough to say, I’m nuts.  So I’ll just hike up my maternity jeans and shut up!

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